Extraordinary women, Kacey Kells - Kellcey

Extraordinary women, author Kacey Kells. — Author: Kacey Kells

The Wordicle’s Author’s Leak presents

Kacey Kells and her book “Kellcey.”

Author Kacey Kells is unquestionably one of many extraordinary women. She’s published an incredible memoir (free preview at the end of the article). See what she has to say.

From the author, Kacey Kells:

“When I started writing Kellcey, I didn’t imagine that I would produce more than a few sentences and paragraphs. Actually, my mind was confused; I was clueless regarding what had happened to me first: I was totally lost, ashamed, frightened…I wasn’t able to talk about it…I was like trapped in a tiny bubble and could hardly look outside. I only had one certitude: I was now a failure; I wasn’t sure whether I deserved to live or not. All I wanted was to forget…but I couldn’t. Nightmares, panic attacks, depression: that was my life since what had happened to me that night…

My counselor at the Rape Centre insisted that I should write something about what had happened to me…anything! She pretended that it would be a way to express my emotions and make my spirit soar. She stated that keeping this secret was like keeping an enormous burden on my shoulders; she added that it would be good for me AND many others to SHARE, to EXPLAIN what it is to be a victim and to explain the consequences, etc…But I then didn’t feel like a survivor; I mean, I was still overwhelmed with fear, shame and darkness.

Ultimately, I also came to fully realize that I wasn’t the only one girl who had been in such an awful situation. More importantly, I was becoming aware that it is a common occurrence for victims to feel as if they were somehow responsible for what had happened to them, even if THEY ARE NOT!! They are the victims, not the culprits!! But that is the way it is…the way we feel; and that is not tolerable!!! It is as if victims looked at themselves through the eyes of the society, the eyes of a society that wants to ignore them and which is condemning them!

Understanding this, I felt the urge to do something; it was clear that I shouldn’t keep this for myself. I had to explain, to tell people what it is to be a victim, and what the consequences are…for themselves and for the society. Because when a person is emotionally broken, she/he is like excluded from the society, marginalized; and this is no good for neither the victim nor for the society.

A rape is not an ordinary crime, because the victim suffers twice: the assault, the terrible humiliation…and the aftermath, made of neverending despair, fear, loneliness…Yes, someone had to speak! Unfortunately, I was still trapped in my own bubble and wasn’t ready to speak or to face people: speaking about what had happened to me was just impossible (and it remains a very hard and painful task, even today). Hence, writing (and making my paper publicly available) was the only way I had (I have) to tell, to communicate, to explain.

When I started to write, I didn’t know where I was going to or how I should proceed…I was certainly not ready to start writing a book; especially about…about what had happened to me. But sentences came after sentences. I kept on writing, every day, generally in the evening. I didn’t even realize what I was doing…but I enjoyed it! Page after page, my life slowly came into words.

Surprisingly, writing about the little girl I once was, the teenage girl I became and the mess that was destroying my family, how I fell head over the heels in love for a boy, and how…well, writing about my life helped me to organize my ideas, to understand, to make peace with myself. In other words, writing helped me to recover. Yes it did! Writing is a fabulous medicine.

But I would be lying if I pretended that it has always been easy. Actually, the hardest part came when it was time to explain what happened that night and the following days, weeks and months. It was hard, extremely painful sometimes, because it forced me to go through that nightmare, again, and relive the horror. Yet, I have to be honest: reliving my nightmare wasn’t something new since it was permanently haunting in my mind. Every day, every night, flashbacks tortured my soul.

However, writing about the events of that tragic night was a different way to relive the drama. Above all, it required the ability to face the reality and to remain calm in spite of the flood of emotions I felt…No that wasn’t easy; but this experience helped me to make peace with myself.”

Kacey, thank you so very much for sharing that personal and vivid author’s leak. We are certain so many will learn from your experience and turn it into something positive like you so incredibly have. Please support Kacey by reading her intimate and extraordinary book.

We recommend reading on the Kindle Paperwhite; it’s waterproof, crisp and clear for reading, or the Apple iPad Air for more power.

Available on Paperback and Kindle (see preview below).

Read free with Kindle Unlimited.

“…reliving my nightmare wasn’t something new since it was permanently haunting in my mind. Every day, every night, flashbacks tortured my soul.”
Kacey Kells